Absolute Stupidity – Happy April Fools Day

I got the following list from a friend. I have no idea who wrote it but it’s one of those internet emails you get periodically that you just find yourself having to share with friends. So happy April Fools day. And, just hope your product doesn’t end up on this list. (Hey, if you know the author please extend my thanks to them and let me know and I’ll be happy to put their name of this)

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual  label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer:   Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:   You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:   Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how…?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:   Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it’s *just* a suggestion!)

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert:   (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:   Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let’s experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:   Do not iron clothes on body.
(But why…???)

On Boot’s Children’s cough medicine:   Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:   Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:   Warning keep out of children.
(Or pets! What’s for dinner?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:   For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)

On a Japanese food processor:   Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I’m curious.)

On Sainsbury’s peanuts:   Warning: contains nuts.
(Really???)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions:   open packet, eat nuts.
(I’m glad they cleared that up…)

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